stupid stupid stupid!
I'm have to be at 2 places at the same time tomorrow. I'll have to rip myself apart into 2. And then perhaps I'll become a martyr for the rest of the students who feel like me and henceforth bring greater understanding between students and teachers. Or I also could also go for one activity and anger the other people in charge of the other activity. Either way I lose. I need some time machine of sorts and then I can truly feel more at peace with things.

God, I know you're in control. Help me.

Annoyed Grunt

Packing lists come with subtle hints to the less-than desired program. Eg. extra set of clothing means: (a) a trip to the beach (which is good) or (b) waterbombs and shooting water with plastic water guns ha-ha (which is retarded); however coloured pens and pencils might mean the Warm Fuzzies Corner. Which is not so bad. Until someone starts bragging about the amount of warm fuzzies they have to the extent that the amount of yellow post-it notes we get become a measure of one's worth (much like what happened to Friendster testimonials).

And with the torchlight, I do anticipate waking up in the middle of the night getting pissed-as-hell after being shouted at and starting to hate camps all over again. And the viscious cycle continues. (at least they didn't have a fire drill or anything during the last camp i went for) (which is a good thing).

I hate camps.
(is miserable)

(a) SL camp is tomorrow
(b) I haven't packed my bags for anything yet.
(c) Because I haven't receieved the packing list.
(d) and I have to go for choir and at the same time, SL camp.
(e) and I'll be going back to school on all the full days that I'll be at my class chalet.
(f) which probably means I wouldn't have time to go with everyone to, i dunno, have fun at escape theme park?
(g) so what's the point of paying for class chalet if you're probably not going to sleep and most likely end up moonlighting as a cleaner when you come back from school?
(h) what's the point of anything, really, when things beyond my own choice swallow up my own time?
(i) I want the right to spend my time the way I want it. I know it comes with responsibilities but at least I do get some control over vital aspects of my life?
(j) So, I've already decided. I need to give up something in order to concentrate more on studies next year. I don't want to waste my time on doing things that I don't enjoy. I enjoy debating. I enjoy singing. I might enjoy planning for things or ushering or shush-ing people up when they talk in the hall. I'm unsure whether I enjoy juggling with too many things.

Haiku most zen

I.

a burning smell wafts
from the overworked printer
in my studyroom

II.

air-conditioned room
toner, inks and white bleached paper
form fresh new textbook

III.

lights flash silently
printer needs more ink dammit
it is frustrating

IV.

quiet in the night
disgruntled user annoyed
dozes off angrily