I want to secure a place somewhere far away where Gayatri Spivak and Judith Butler hold up the cafeteria line regularly to order vegan quesadillas, so I may sit in an armchair and eat chips all day and dream.
I want to hold a boarding pass that says "Novi Sad" and Instagram that.
I want to fry something in first-press avocado oil that I will buy while listening to a podcast about religious extremism.
I want to read a non-fiction book that will make me say "yes" audibly on a train to meet the future of my language abilities/the number of times I will say "the opacity of the text."
I want to tell someone what I read about the AP stylebook and the use of the phrase "illegal immigrant."
I want to be the kind of person who has an ironic wall calendar.
I want to watch pretentious films in a cool stranger's basement while the trees in the quad are bronzed and autumnal.
I want to be, like, "this work is about the complexity of human desire and the questioning of its structuring ontologies" while talking to a b-list celebrity.
Could this be your online version of an ironic wall calendar? http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/
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