it was a stupid morning.

Someone once told me, in a rush of excitement, that our school is very much like a microcosm of Singapore. We're small and we're not exactly that well known but yet somewhat well known depending on how you define "well known" so that's a grey area. Just like Home.

Sadly, barely 15 minutes into my school day, it became rudely apparent that it was no longer merely a microcosm of Singapore. As the assembly in the parade square found themselves gripped by fear of seismic proportions when names were spat out, purportedly for breaking rules on attire, I realized that No, that's no longer the case; the fear, the uncertainty, the arbitrary rules that offered no room for appeal and forgiveness — it can't be a microcosm of Singapore if all that I felt at that moment was silent, furious protest akin to the reactions during the Islamic revolution in Iran!

I hate it, I really really do, when rules and the punishments they attach to it are so arbitrary, especially when a large amount of demerit points are involved. It certainly does not justify the nature of the so-called "crime", since those called were not even aware of it in the first place. It could have been an accident, the shirts becoming untucked without them being aware of it, and thus being caught and mislabeled as "an act of defiance". (I'm sorry, but I've also found that term being abused and thrown around like a perfect supported and legitimate reason to slap on the punishment, but I'll save that for another diatribe.)

They speak of learning from your mistakes, of second chances, and of the school being your second home. Yet, are the measures being put in place really effective in solving the messy attire problem? The cost of enforcing discipline and carrying out periodic and senseless crack-downs certainly does not justify compromising on the respect and voluntary cooperation of the rest of the populace. I'll wait and see what happens next.

他们治标不治本，实在是太可惜了。

so we had this conversation in your head

My voice is hoarse and raspy from cheering at the volleyball c boys and c girls' north zone finals, where I realized I sometimes hate being an SL, but in the end, love being an SL because it's rewarding and sometimes comforting? Because I can't stand some people and their blatant insouciance, even though it's their own naivete that we blame sometimes? But then I realize that all I've done was to interpret their actions superficially? And I'm caught in a rut of speaking in questions?

And I hate the word 'maturity'. It's so overused to the point where the precision of its definition is lost, perhaps due to the perceived array of attributes that it connotes. To me, the only thing it connotes is age, and can refer to things like wine and fruit. I'd be ever-grateful to the person who describes others as more than just 'mature' or 'has potential'. To be frank, I was once guilty of generalizing good qualities with the word 'maturity', but apparently seemingly 'mature' people can too lack better judgment or sense of decorum at times.

Blah blah blah.

Random questions derived from current circumstances: Does coming to terms with an artistic nature necessarily mean being surrounded in a non-conformist environment (read: slob) and playing Jenga with stacks of books precariously balanced on a single paperback? And does this entail ignoring a dead beetle the size of a medium-sized pebble under the scanner?

Chinese lesson today was awkward, in more ways than one.

I guess I've fulfilled this semester's quota for High-ness during the volleyball matches. I can't really grasp the concept of snapping into a state of glowing enthusiasm and exuberance on demand. And now I've got a voice to match my stoicism.