Monday, April 07, 2008

so we had this conversation in your head

My voice is hoarse and raspy from cheering at the volleyball c boys and c girls' north zone finals, where I realized I sometimes hate being an SL, but in the end, love being an SL because it's rewarding and sometimes comforting? Because I can't stand some people and their blatant insouciance, even though it's their own naivete that we blame sometimes? But then I realize that all I've done was to interpret their actions superficially? And I'm caught in a rut of speaking in questions?

And I hate the word 'maturity'. It's so overused to the point where the precision of its definition is lost, perhaps due to the perceived array of attributes that it connotes. To me, the only thing it connotes is age, and can refer to things like wine and fruit. I'd be ever-grateful to the person who describes others as more than just 'mature' or 'has potential'. To be frank, I was once guilty of generalizing good qualities with the word 'maturity', but apparently seemingly 'mature' people can too lack better judgment or sense of decorum at times.

Blah blah blah.

Random questions derived from current circumstances: Does coming to terms with an artistic nature necessarily mean being surrounded in a non-conformist environment (read: slob) and playing Jenga with stacks of books precariously balanced on a single paperback? And does this entail ignoring a dead beetle the size of a medium-sized pebble under the scanner?

Chinese lesson today was awkward, in more ways than one.

I guess I've fulfilled this semester's quota for High-ness during the volleyball matches. I can't really grasp the concept of snapping into a state of glowing enthusiasm and exuberance on demand. And now I've got a voice to match my stoicism.

No comments:

Post a Comment