this is life in the big house

I'm filling up my system with junk faster than I can clear the gunk away. Seriously. I had a 3 food items from the cafe which is unhealthy enough, and then I had Reese's peanut butter cups at home (but the moment of rapture was so definitely worth it).

My EoM is not dumb enough for him. I have to bold keywords and spoon feed more. Maybe I should grade myself instead.
Why hasn't anyone done anything to unscrew-up the system? Surely the day will come when I'll storm out of the school, hail a cab, head towards the Smart Guy who decided to make PW an important part of the JC curriculum, and slap him silly with my group's working file. I will scream into his face - What were you thinking? Were you not born with a conscience? Can't you figure anything out? Can't you not see that we're wading in steaming turds while trying to receive an education but you're throwing more muck at us? - and then I will walk out with a renewed sense of peace beyond the handcuffs and certain expulsion, content to have exacted some much-needed justice.

I love Friday nights and dinners with the choristers.
Choristers. The word makes us sound Viennese.

There's also kayaking tomorrow! I'm not counting on drowning yet but I'll wait and see what happens. If getting hit by a car's not gonna earn me sympathy marks maybe I'll have to start pushing it.

Anyway I've been getting flashbacks from the accident. But I haven't had the mandatory Hollywood-type nightmare yet when I'll awake from my dream to sit up immediately, panting, wide-eyed with tousled hair. I thought getting hit by a car would be a harbinger for a turning point in my life - like while in hospital I would gaze out at the window and commit the rest of my life to "grabbing opportunities that come my way" as a rainbow forms over the hills. This has been far from the reality of road accidents, however. I can't seem to find a deeper and underlying lesson that would give meaning to the pain. All I have received is knowledge of that moment of impact and how loud car horns sound before a collision, all the horror and the surprise.

image: Sacha Hilton