Sunday, April 16, 2006

What we lose

I had another dream. The forgotten ipod mini has floated back up to my memory. You know, like a toybox with a corpse inside had suddenly resurfaced from the bottom of a lake, a la desperate housewives? And in this dream, my chinchillas know how to enter and exit the cage whenever they wanted to, and every morning, a parcel of chocolate would appear next to one of my chinchillas, but not before the bag of poppy seeds in my fridge suddenly exploded in my face. And i tasted it. It felt like 100s and 1000s, all horrible and flour-y.

I'm in the mood for all things mundane today. Like how I normally hold my fork, how I should hold my fork, the number of crevices present on a single eyelid, my color blindness, the numbers on my 10 dollar notes, the pink on my sister's pencil case, the insensitivity of people, mostly.

I woke up today with no eyebags. I ate my breakfast with without any eyebags. I cleansed my pores without any eyebags. I stepped out of the house sneezing, with a huge swollen puffy right eye and eyebags. I looked at the mirror in church and saw my capillaries very clearly, and the tears and their tear ducts. As well as a new pimple.

I think it was blood that I saw, the liquid floating at the base of my eyeball, staring back, perturbed, at me.

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