a thing that made me laugh in the lecture room today

From the Sedaratives section in The Believer, issue 78 (with guest columnist Paul Scheer) —

Dear Sedaratives, 

Is it OK to break up with someone on Twitter? What if I don't have a Twitter account and ask a friend to do it for me? What's the protocol?  

Stacie

Orlando, Fla.

Dear Stacie,

As my good friend Kathleen Turner once told me, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU FREAKY STALKER!" But that's beside the point. Yes, it is OK to break up over Twitter. If you don't have a Twitter account, here are some other options for breaking up. Send a mass text to everyone but the dude (or gal) you're dating. Skywriting always works. It's public, and so much fun. But I think the absolute best way is a singing telegram. It's just not possible to be upset when a man in a gorilla costume tells you, "Stacie don't love you anymore" to the tune of "Eleanor Rigby."

Paul

My co-intern at the medical centre was like, Your magazine has so many words! I gave the same smile that expectant mothers gave when complemented about their glowing skin/jet black hair/engorged bosom/sense of importance/knitting skills/taste in floral textiles.