dear gorby

It seems like I've gotten Awkward Birthday Melancholy a little worse than usual this year.

And because this is one of those rare super public blogs made to celebrate the human condition (no, really?), I'm currently in the mood for a near-death experience to shake me alive from despondency. Yes, I am despondent even though I mock the emotional state of despondency because it reeks of being sensitive and vulnerable. Whatever.

It's just that there's a lot going on right now and I don't know whose soul I should cry into and it sucks to have everything piling up and interweaving themselves into a stupid banner of grief because the here and now is filled with constant disappointment and and the future is already sated with the certainty of regret.

But because this is life as we know it and somehow God sees us through everything even though my mind is fogged up with concerns that will die as the years pass by, I say I'm going to enjoy tomorrow and dammit, nothing's gonna stop me. I'm hanging out with Bel and Jem at the library and then eat at a Turkish restaurant with my family so this should be an exciting day :)