unglee

Quite possibly because I've been spending all my waking hours in school or stuck in limbo between School and Home, I'm starting to lose my sense of self. Which is funny when you wail about it to other people, but not that hilarious anymore once you try grasping all that's been happening but failing to see yourself in the midst of everything.

The thing with JC life is, it offers you horizons of knowledge so vast and boundless that you become quite agoraphobic in the whole build up. Having no place to hide, we develop tough hides on our exterior to protect our fragile ignorance.

I think it's scary to know so much when there's no time to sort out your thoughts.

Often I hypothesize that in reality I have really died after a horrific accident, but am condemned to face an eternity of dull commutes around this crummy island. This is all a garish nightmare in a bad coma; my sense percepts are just the result of faulty neurons firing indiscriminately... this fear in itself is terrifying, and so on. Infinite regression. I'm so tired right now I want to meld into the chair and excuse myself from the tedium of existence for just a bit.

God I know you're listening to me, but everything's crazy at the moment and I want to find strength in you again. Strength, or at least the motivation to keep moving on. I'm glad I'm not alone in this.

You have taken the East from me; you have taken the West from me;
you have taken what is before me and what is behind me
you have taken the moon, you have taken the sun from me
and my fear is great that you have taken God from me!

(from Donal Og, tr. Lady Gregory)

OK. Tomorrow - PE, Econs, Long break and then KI. And in-between I'll look out for the Year 1s. Am tired, so tired. So. Tired. :( Recent popular interest in Glee is not helping.