i'll shut my mouth for you

I know the feeling of screwing up papers (and perhaps am more familiar with it this week than I should), but everything's in God's control. I don't know why I keep forgetting this; I used encourage some friends with that, but lately everything, even walking to school, is a too-worrying stretch testing the limits of faith.

I have two papers left, but right now they feel like ultramarathons before me. The knowledge that this isn't going to be the last time is at once a huge relief and a terrible burden, and all I want to do is take a long, decade-long nap. (I slept just now, only to find myself in a claustrophobic nightmare involving an old lady with fabulous cat-eye glass, a spiritual Western hippy couple "accidently" touching me all the time, and a congregation of bizarre characters wearing pastel casualwear and feather earrings.)