20 things I would do now had I not treated myself with respect:

1. Sucker-punch offenders
2. Projectile-vomit onto a blank canvas, smearing the muck around for added texture
3. Go back to Bedok at 9 PM
4. Disembowel myself with a blunt and rusty letter opener from '73
5. Go out pimpin' myself under the guise of choir practice
6. Take out my life savings to purchase expensive and shiny Jay Chou memorabilia
7. Chew on warm raw pork belly
8. Douse myself in peanut oil and mock-gleefully run outside to invite strangers back home
9. Crash the LV opening at Ion Orchard today, addressing myself as the young Count Üzseklinneman-Hartvønstürfgên from the Eastern European micronation of Hjalichtensteinavania.
10. Paint my nails, my toenails, my neck and my cornea purple.
11. Walk into a wall
12. Bungee jump with a rope strung by rubberband
13. Tattoo a dragon all over my back
14. Defrost frozen chicken wings in my mouth one-by-one
15. Swim in an abandoned quarry at 4 am
16. Bike against the traffic along the expressway
17. Microwave my head
18. Eat a whole century egg
19. Mass-dance in a landfill
20. Perform Lasik using a laser pointer and a penknife