Here's mandatory mention of that moment of horror and expectation and uncertainty and relief when the SEAB gave notice of the date and time of the release of the O level results. I was excited, worried, joyful, and then these emotions gave way to general apathy. I had another nightmare about it last night, but it was a very "fitful" dream, if you will, because I woke up a little every 10 minutes, and I was in the wrong attire for results collection all the time! Worse still, I kept picking up wrong things when I came back home to change, like batteries and catalogues. It was surreal to say the least.
I keep reminding myself to trust in God's plan for me, but it's all so hard when I'm striving towards achieving academic excellence (because it's the local pastime, that sorta thing) in the pursuit of so-called stability in the future (because that's what most people do) and praying hard that it's in line with His will. Argh, if only I could so easily say that Yes I'm going to wholly lean on his name and have faith in wherever he takes me so onward faithful servant etc., then maybe I wouldn't make such a big deal out of this.
I'm just thankful that no matter what happens, I have someone to depend and count on.
Besides, I know the words I spout are often hideously grotesque and clumsy when compared to things I read in the Bible. I guess depending on oneself has never been a valid option.
P.S. - The debaters and Lucas gave me a really really really cool calendar! It's so awesome I HAD to mention it here! Nicest birthday card thing I've ever received, honest! Thanks guys :) So sorry no one was there to see my joy haha.
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