wtf?!

My dad walks in,
and says,
"Someone will be coming on Thursday to collect the chins."
Because apparently they are taking up too much space in the living room
and we need a place to put our bags. And no one has time for the chinchillas.
And my mum doesn't like the lack of hygiene that they have. And my grandmother prefers dogs.
And they must have forgotten us in the process of all this.

OK. I feel like crap now. They are doing this without consulting us?
I have never been so offended.

"At least now they have a new home," he says gallantly.

Well, I guess some planks from Sweden would have a new home here too.
I am sick of furniture from Ikea. I am unable to find joy in watching planks. They seldom respond when I talk to them. Planks aren't as cuddly as chinchillas. And planks are ugly things.

If I'm feeling melodramatic, I might do an 'If the chinchillas go, I go too'. I'll run away to Paris and live life as a Bohemian.
I shall lock myself up in my room and stay a hermit and no one shall see me until I turn thirty. I'll write a tell-all book.

I am quite tired of having an upbringing so contrary to my nature. Everyone is so cold.

I shall go to my room
and slit my wrists or something.
And then everyone will be like, "oh that's sad, I rather liked him though".

I will treat whatever sits at that spot with extreme disdain. Stupid, non-sentient things. Sadly, in this case, it isn't only inanimate objects that appear to be non-sentient beings. And as if there aren't enough planks at home already.

"Oh ya we used to have chinchillas, but they dropped their fur all over and cannot control their bladders (laughs) and I spend so much time cleaning them in the morning, very leh chay." I fear my parents will report this at next year's family reunion. My aunt's family will chip in: "Our chinchilla was shedding so much fur and it was flying everywhere, we had to ebay it". Everyone will turn to look at my sister and I, saying that we should have taken care of the chinchillas. We will roll our eyes and wonder why no one thinks that our responsibility at home is ever enough.

So the "Next time I won't let my children have pets (polite laughter)" mentality sticks onto the entire social circle like cancer and young children will never be able to experience the joy of having pets. All because people want space, time and bags. I'd might as well blame Our Great Leader at the same time for introducing small, cramped HDB flats. I'm in such a fine mood for bestowing my wrath and scathing remarks in anything that gets in my way.