celery

::::::........:::...::::::::............... [ here is transient beauty caught in a permanence ] +

I'm gonna do away with those dots.

Whatever. So anyway;

I've been feeling bitter and spiteful the whole day. Oh well, it's true when they say that chocolate cures everything. But they weren't kidding when they said that too much of a good thing could be a bad thing. (though for Nigella Lawson, too much of a good thing can be a good thing)

So how was my official first day of school, you ask. I guess it took it's toll on me eventually at the end of the day because I had to sort out so much redundant repulsive admin stuff that forever bugs me. And I couldn't believe the level of insensitivity! It could have been funny if it wasn't so offensive and sad. Did kindness and consideration graduate together with last year's sec 4s?

We're doing To Kill A Mockingbird for Literature. I have to admit, after having to do a comprehension passage about in in my PETS worksheets in primary school, I found it difficult to read it. Sometimes prejudice and injustice strikes me more deeply than other issues, and wearies me after a while.

I wonder how teachers feel when their lessons get commented online. I know how strange it is to see an unknown stranger blog about you hours after they exchange handshakes in some debate tournament. It's rarely unsettling though, more of encouragement than intimidation and mere critique. I guess it's probably really painful when, after spending hours cooped up in a cubicle coming up with a lesson plan, the students remain uncooperative and unmotivated.

but what sane kid enjoys studying things that they were never interested in?

My motivation for studying was always for self-gratification. I guess that's real self-centred of me. I'd rather study to further appreciate what God has made. And the balance and uniqueness of everything, like how an atom is held together by positive and negative charges (ok that's roughly what I heard Mrs. Chow say) or the intricacies of the transportation system in living organisms, or even how we can know what's Right and Not Right.

But I'm sick of so many things now. Does everything turn sour once there's competition and expectations? And what ever happened to enjoying doing the things you once had passion in? So I guess it all always ends up this way. Wow, I was really suckered into believing all those lies.