After Christmas

I'm back from YF camp, Sunday School Musical rehearsals, and recovering from the long sleepless nights of writing christmas cards. I'm also blogging on my iMac, which has awakened from its coma and is now the proverbial blank slate.

I'm also feeling a strong urge to return to the nineties. But it's a very complicated manifestation of an emotion so shan't think too much about it.

Sunday School Musical was great! I was supposed to paste posters around the hall, and create the backstage, but was soon promoted to Set Extra! My line was something about ordering food in KFC. It was somewhat exciting, albeit in a relatively mediocre way, but still I'm thankful for that since this holiday season has been a rather disappointing one.

So, things I'm thankful for: the people I grew up with all my life but didn't give much thought about when we were younger, the friends around me who demand I keep the 5th of January free, and the camp that has revealed how personal God is to me.

(I'm also thankful that Persepolis will be released in cinemas next year, but I don't want to appear as shallow as a kiddy pool, right?)

Have an awesome new year ahead! :)

Briefly, the Debate Chalet

Not a good time to blog about it because I'm sleep-deprived and slowly zombifying, but here's a picture of our carb-laden dinner.

Some Taipei Photos

Shihlin Night Market. That place suffers from the perpetual crowd. If you've been to Bangkok and thought the night markets there were congested enough, wait till you enter the world's largest mosh pit. Every night is a Guinness Record attempt to compact as many people into a confined space and test the carrying capacity of the ground on which it sloshes itself on with a disconcerting array of neon lights.





Of course, how could I not visit Taipei 101? We didn't go up though, since it was a tad too overpriced in my opinion, and going up a tall building, even the world's tallest, is not exactly a life-altering experience.



The main Eslite Bookstore has got me set for another return trip. Think of Borders, Kinokuniya, HMV, Far East Plaza and Haji Lane stacked on each other and lovingly adorned with Christmas lights and with a large emphasis on nordic/scandinavian design. Most of the books were in traditional chinese, but the simplified chinese and english sections were quite modest as well, with titles that I couldn't find stocked at the literature section of borders/kino in Singapore. My sister and I bought a Holga camera and 2 chinese books. Hers was a book by François Sagan that was translated into simplified chinese. Following that, we looked around the comme des garcons boutique on the ground level, where all the clothes were sorted by their colours into racks of reds and blacks. It was so cool. Although that would have been an understatement.

More resolutions to renege

I've been busy preparing for YF camp. I have prepared encouragement gifts, perfected mystery Encourager techniques, brought cards and mahjong paper for encouragement corner and I can safely say that I won't face the same encouragement-corner disaster of 2005 when I forgot to bring my candy.

Now all I have left to do tomorrow morning before 11.30 am is to prepare worship for wednesday and do up my picture and cartoon for the encouragement corner.

And only previously, my family had a "discussion" on the music choices of my sister and I where I had to bring up the seemingly foreign concept of teenagers' discretion. That was an hour taken away from me as I wilted in my chair.

Anyway, I haven't blogged about Taipei yet. (shame) But it can be summarized into walking, eating, taking the Taipei MRT, walking, then eating, then walking some more. I'm glad I managed to get some exercise by walking. Really, really glad. I gained a few kgs in Hong Kong and was determined not to let that happen again.

So at this point in time, I'm like "my 16th birthday is in a month's time but no one cares and I kinda don't care about it too" and "I'm so freaking depressed because Apple is screwing up my computer and replacing the entire hard drive without checking software issues first and not to mention retrieving my photos and music and everything I think I'm going to cry" and "wth I still have so much work left but everyone's buzzing around me telling me to do stock taking/to help burn a cd/to design christmas cards/to bake freaking brownies/to organize the bicultural exchange exhibition booth/to plan extra practices/to lead this and lead that, so stop overloading me already".

Have I met another person facing the same problems that I have in school? Heck, no. I have not seen anyone else leading a CCA with totally apathetic members and ambitious teachers, being in a love/hate relationship with a board since sec 1, losing 4 years' worth of photographs, 11 gigs of music, hundreds of bookmarked pages, folders and folders of designs, being plagued by a fear of mediocrity in a class full of brains, living in the shadows of the generations before you, being constantly taunted unjustly, having to bounce back up because there's no choice but to put on a stupid brave manly facade, listening to the problems of other people who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, trying to say no but sadly bound by societal obligations and trying to lead a godly life at the same time.

Yes, I am wallowing in self-pity once again, but that's all I do on this blog now, right? Let's have nature take its course, let this blog decompose into a state of unintelligent drivel, let tendrils and creepers (and lianas and rattans) engulf and suffocate my misery away, etc.

Ok this is what I have been doing this week, summarized into ridiculously nonindicative minute chunks.

1) Concert at PLMGS
2) VJC invitationals
3) Shiyun's birthday
4) Khai Soon's birthday
5) Grandpa's birthday
6) Stock-taking at bbc
7) Bag-packing

And please sms me your preferred gift from Taiwan or else I'll randomly assign gifts to you on a first-come-first serve basis.

And I'm going for a flu jab tomorrow. Not that I'm morbidly afraid of needles or anything.

And now, to tacitly justify the little time I can spend online now that the nice people at Apple will only return my computer to me on Friday;

When life gives you lemons, well, make some lemonade. Not quite for Nokia and Universal which plan to launch a digital-download service that promises to offer buyers of selected Nokia phones free and unlimited downloads of Universal recordings. However, in the face of blatant contraventions of copyright laws, Nokia and Universal, in all their ambition and expediency, have decided to make a Nigella Lawson-esque Lemon-infused meringue with all that they've got.

Although relatively young, the digital music industry has been blooming, albeit being a rather monopolistic one dominated by Apple's iTunes Music Store. Furthermore, the closure of Napster, a free digital music download service, has catalyzed a reactionary response that has sparked greater awareness of online piracy and the effect this has on the stakeholders involved; in this case, the musicians, the recording companies, and the consumer base.

Due to the pressing need to fulfill the physiological level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, ergo sleep, I have chosen to focus on the cultural shifts in the Digital Age. While not entirely bad in itself since it is reflective of a non-stagnating society which theorists say is crucial for the evolution of civilization, such shifts in mindsets offer me an oft-daunting opportunity to look at the status quo from a Christian perspective, which leaves me with the haunting question of whether it's right to steal music if (a) I face little or no criminal charges (b) Media conglomerates are bending to my level and offering me free downloads already, in any case.

According to the Bible, it is very obviously a sin to steal. Likewise, with other secular cultural constructs, it's a crime to steal. As if to complicate matters, we start to wonder about the intangible fine line that separates intellectual property from concrete and physical goods, and at this point, my viewpoint is divergent from that of a secular angle because in spite of popular consensus, I do not desensitize my moral compass.

Let's augment this basicity with a secular angle, that it's only ethical that you own the exclusive right to your own music lest you give it up in a recording contract to the company. This is where the responsibility of the media company comes in as the conscience of a society too caught up in a whirlwind of consumerism to care for the ethical dimension to their actions: are the messages that the media companies send healthy for the creative climate in the industry? Does it reflect the value system that the artists uphold? Does it exacerbate the problem of piracy, or does it implicitly decrimininalize it altogether?

Yawn. Let me stop here, please. The lack of structure clearly reflects my state of mind, yet I'm aiming to offer as much insight as I can.

Yawn. Just came back from the YFC JC camp. We went orienteering around sentosa in the dark, ending up at strange obscure places along the dragon trail (where I discovered a spot where I posed for a photo when I was like 4) and a battery at mount imbiah. We were freaked out by termites pooling around our feet and the strange twisted shapes along the merlion walk without its light-up. We reached the end first anyway, and drank 100 plus and ate snickers and meiji chocolate.

So now I'm trying to rest at home to prepare for the concert at PLMGS later and I can't think quite clearly. Furthermore, the VJC invites are tomorrow and I'm desperate to catch as much sleep as possible. The busiest week of my holidays is ending soon, and I really thank God for that.

I will never see this sunset again, sigh.

Anyway; what I did this weekend-
1) Debate
2) Jiansheng and Stephanie's wedding
3) Baptism Sunday
4) Went to redbar to catch Gareth's band playing

Shall talk about the lattermost event since it's still stuck in my mind (like the unusual smell the fog-machine produced). Okay, minus the strobe lighting, maybe I would have enjoyed it better. They played 5 songs but I liked the fourth song best. Decided that I would not enjoy clubbing when I turn 18.

And the MRT ride between city hall and bugis is insanely packed. I met a backpacking couple that were smiling and beaming in the "I'm so loving this small quaint crowded south-east asian city kinda feeling" way.

Open House Blues; whee! picture of tokyo!

Autumn in Tokyo is nice, except that the leaves ain't flaming red or brilliantly orange yet. There was a post-apocalyptic gloom hanging in the air that extinguished most of my expectations of jumping into mounds of leaves washed in gold and amber. But hey, it's okay, I like grey skies anyway.

I have just discovered, hidden among some random chain e-mail glurge, that we are having Open House consecutively for 4 days in a row, right after the release of the PSLE results and after the joy/bitter disappointment has sunk into the hearts of children and their obsessing parents. I am terrified.

So there goes my after-A-maths-remedial-plan to go to the esplanade library and look for the dang Erik Sate scores. My afternoons will now be spent trying to sell something I've grown weary and tired of to unsuspecting families. I am trying to think of smart-ass comebacks to counter comments steeped in ignorance.

Furthermore, how am I guaranteed a better turn-out after experiencing the dull mediocrity of the previous one that was supposed to be more hyped-up than the ones falling on these days? I am tired as it is of listening to the authorities go on and on about the importance of image (and that grating voice—no!), watching parents fuss over squirming children, trying to console parents who turn up with a child whose T-score falls short of the cut-off for the year, and sitting around waiting like taxi drivers at Changi Airport terminal 1.

And then there are the parents who arrive with a predatory glint in their eye as if trying to strategically place their child in a school where their academic pursuits would be further enhanced by T-scores significantly higher than the average student. Not that I have anything against high aggregates, but I can't stand people who enter with a smirk that says 'I could go to but I'm giving you a chance'. Nor do I have the heart to entertain parents who come in and start criticizing our severe lack of CCAs and land mass.

However, I am speaking from a pessimist's point of view (and one that is still pissed about not being able to use his own computer yet). Perhaps tomorrow will be a fair weather day and there will be happy smiley parents and children who are eager to come in and express avid excitement about the programmes offered in school. And maybe they'll send in a hokkaido ice-cream vendor and the rest of my day will be spent laughing and eating salted caramel gelato and vanilla soft serve ice-creams. (yeah, I wish)

status quo:

1) the somewhat much-awaited A.P.C. catalogue that I had ordered last month is here! I am a little disappointed though, because everything in the catalogue were the same as the things at their website. But my mum's pleased because apparently the pictures were placed spread-out enough for her to let her kindergarteners use it for their arts and crafts lessons. Ah well. But I really like the brown jacket you see on their front page! I tried hinting to my parents, but then again, it's kinda warm. And 'kinda' is perhaps an understatement.

2) I want to go back to Mie and cycle around the rice fields during sunset! And ride on the cool bicycle with my blue plaid lunchbox in the basket in front! And laugh with my host because it's so chilly. And see the trains pass by. But these moments are things that one tends to get lost in during daydreams. On a less romantic note, I love the 4 PM sunsets and the sunrise at 5 AM because the daylight's there in the mornings when I need it the most.

3) On the same day that I received the A.P.C. catalogue, my dad came home with Mac OS X 10.5 which comes in really cool holographic packaging. My happiness was short-lived, however, when (i) someone accidently pulled the plug on the external DVD drive that I was using to install it in, and (ii) when I re-installed it and woke up the next morning to face the horrifying Blue Screen Of Death. After fsck-ing it several times (the equivalent of CPR on a computer), and rebooting it with the original installation disk, and trying to hack into the root user of the operating system (and encountering a confusing myriad of coding that was reminiscent of A Maths Paper 2), and incurring the 'You Are Such A Geek' grimace of my sister whilst typing a line of code, I have learnt to accept the Inevitable. And thus the continuous struggle between man and machine lives on through our little technological tragedies.

I am now typing on my mum's macbook pro, and its metal casing is giving my wrists tiny annoying electric shocks.

4) My parents are marvelling at the perceived increase of productivity away from the computer, mainly because in my frustration, I decided pay homage to the Tokyo shinkansen station to alleviate my aggrieved state through drawing on my sister's canvas that has been stowed away along with the rest of her intentions to run off and join SOTA.

5) I want to go to Disneyland in California, Colette in Paris (and see what all the hype about it is about), Shibuya in Tokyo and Manhattan in New York! I'm rather disappointed with the Tokyo part of my trip because I missed out on going to all the, well, cool places that put Tokyo on the map. I mean, we spent an entire day visting shrines and temples. Not that's anything bad per se, but I've already seen enough of ancient Japan to last at least half a century, thank you very much. Where are the freaky cosplay people in Harajuku, the neon lights, and the quirky avant-garde shops that make Tokyo so wonderful to go to? Having said that, the whole breathlessness of exiting the train station and entering Tokyo watching reporters run around in front of TV crew and cameras for the opening of Daimaru in Ginza made the stressful-bullet-train-rushing all worthwhile.

6) I have too many spiral-ring bound notebooks.

So tomorrow, I have debate in the morning, choir workshop in the afternoon, and SL chalet in the evening. I feel like going back to the past and giving my sec 1 self a huge slap.

Rant

Urgh. Okay, so let me wallow in my teenage miseries.

Would have blogged about my trip to Japan but am suffering from How-Was-Your-Trip fatigue, in which everyone asks you about your trip to the point of your own frustration. Besides, I've drafted one but I'm currently having those weeks where I can't seem to blog anything because of a shortened attention span.

Yes, I'm having one of those weeks where I don't want to do anything but fade into my surroundings and blend into the blurriness of the Japanese countryside while on the shinkansen. I crave salted caramel ice-cream and sticks of pocky. I get moody all the time but trying not to show it because the last thing I want now is an escalation of anger leading to an undesired manifestation of internal fury. I look at my report book as if it was a bad smell. I type and get more frustrated because language is such a limiting way of expressing oneself, despite the supposed vastness of vocabulary and diction available. As if we pick up stock words and phrases from a supermarket shelf and arrange them nicely in the cart. I am infuriated when caught in the whole pretence of cultural constructs and expectations, and the roles, and the expectations, and the responsibilities, and the expectations. I am not suicidal but rather homicidal, yet it is not only anger but helplessness that I feel. I'm sick of the euphemisms, bureaucracy, motivational posters and the annoying as heck Spring Singapore public service messages. In other words, I am confused, angsty, frustrated, and will also be labelled as a shallow teenager who apathetically blogs about his own selfish sorrows. They call it periodic male tension. And not many people will get to this last part of the paragraph because of my adolescent babble.

And also the fact that singapore is like, the land of ennui-sodden mediocrity. We're born, we go for montessori kindergartens, we attend swimming lessons, we go for ballet/violin/piano classes, we join our parents in the queue for elitist primary schools (where our placement also serves to assure them of a hassle-free registration for younger siblings down the road), we study for psle, we go to a secondary school (preferably SAP, IP programme, Special Stream) and then we graduate. And then what? NS is already too cliché a subject for the modern singaporean male to be ranting about. Our lives revolve around the freaking concept of meritocracy. We chase that holy grail of holistic, all-rounded success. We crave that perfect oh so perfect single-digit after 4 years of mindless repetition and memorization. Even this ideology has seeped and contaminated the preferred perception of Family; parents now judge their children by their grades. Are parents even supposed to judge their own children?

Gawd I'm starting to sound like a clamant opposition party member during a GST hike.

I hate the thesis statement-elaboration-conclusion structure.
I hate writing narratives.
I hate soggy cashews and pecans in a tub of Ben and Jerry's.
I hate commonwealth essay topics.
I hate singaporean immigration officers who never greet you despite being greeted, eye you suspiciously as they turn to the photograph on your passport, remain silent throughout the whole time, and never say welcome or thank you. And they give you a look of bemusement when you loudly say 'thanks' before you leave, as if saying 'thank you' and 'goodbye' were as obsolete and uncool as saying 'carpe diem' or 'by jove/golly'.

urgghh. I'm going to sleep and I'll wake up tomorrow and realize that it's a better day. Or something.
(Oh! I bought a pair of havaianas and they are really so very soft and pleasant :D)

Bye

I had this dream where I ended up in a quaint Japanese town with Spanish influences and canals reminiscent of European countrysides.

I hope this doesn't happen when I get there!

So anyway here is a list of things I'm so definitely going to get.

1) Preserved scallops.
2) Charm bracelet for sister.
3) I don't know? Disneyland entrance pass?

And thus I have no idea of what to expect there and I think I'm overpacking because it doesn't get colder than 10 degrees at where I'm going but yet I have my dad's leather jacket and super warm woollen sweaters and scarves and gloves and socks and beanie. And thus my nightmares of vacations going horribly messed up and wrong are coming true.

At this point in time my grandmother is criticizing by wardrobe choices because my jackets are apparantly too heavy and she is trying to tell me that the thin black one (that came as a free gift with a National Geographic subscription) would be a better choice. On second thoughts, I think she may be right in our overestimation of the freeze we would experience in Japan, since I've experienced uncomfortably colder moments in Perth when the temperature dipped to 3 degrees.

But I'm pretty excited about the trip! And choir members remember to give your details to your SLs! And all the best to those involved in the primary school debate workshop! May you have the ability to think of clever comebacks to deal with smart-alecky P6s, and have the gift of staring them into silence when needed!

And O level Chinese people! All the best :D nearly forgot that it's today! (shame)

Saturday was surreal.

My morning started off by getting pretty creeped out, having to alight at the 55 bus stop near the old Grand Hotel in Marine Parade, having heard that it was split into two for the construction of Still Road that runs through it, and thus having the constant impression of guilt for trespassing through its faded grandeur (that sort of thing).

Then I was mildly worried that I was walking in the wrong direction to McDonald's at Parkway Parade. Upon arriving, Mingting called and told me solemnly that she spilt tea all over herself, except that I heard it as 'I spilt pee all over myself' and I was like, exclaiming, 'you spilled pee all over yourself?' to the amusement of early morning office-staff. Then I realized it was tea she was talking about.

But anyway, the rest came late because they took the wrong bus and ended up in Geylang, or so I heard. We realized it was going to rain, since darkness suddenly befell upon us as if a premonition, and rushed to the bus stop, learnt that Angeline's camera is malfunctioning, and got on a bus where Andrea lost his sugar for his tea. We alighted a few bus stops too early before VS and ended up running in the drizzle, and fortunately met with Gasper's family and his wonderful car with the automatic doors.


You can see how dishevelled we looked. Mingting's trying to conceal the fact that she spilt tea all over herself with a strategically-placed blazer! Haha.


Shiyun's posing with her Fillet O' Fish in the canteen. McDonald's Mornings always inject so much joy into our sodden lives, ha.

We lost the first match of the day to KC X, despite trying to avenge for our junior team's loss to them as well. Quite disappointing, since we had won all three rounds the day before. But Mrs Ho dropped by with the tee we gave her and our junior team won sc so it wasn't too demoralizing, I guess. Met pl in the next round; won, but not by a very large margin. (This is in relation to the previous debates, heh.)

We had to meet our junior team in the semifinals! It was quite a fun round, and I had a freaky deja vu moment in the middle of giving my case division, although personally I felt really unprepared to give my speech because in comparison to the other motions, this was probably one of the those I wasn't as confident in. Furthermore, minutes before stepping into the room, I was frantically having a 'costume change' to suit the school blazer. And I still can't tie a decent knot in my tie.

Meeting sc in the finals was interesting. They had a more formidable speaker line-up than what we faced in the prelims. I thought our criteria of what best upholds our sense of nation and economic growth was better than the economics-centric benefits vs. detriments, but perhaps it wasn't made explicit enough (albeit mentioned in every speaker after the firsts).

Anyway, when best speaker went to sc, we kind of knew that we had a very slim chance of winning already. (It's like Scout's premonition of Tom Robinson's conviction in TKAM. How a jury never looks at a defendant it has convicted.) Anyway, we congratulated them and took photos again.



Had a long emotional debrief then everyone walked to east coast hawker centre for a sort-of impromptu celebration. And the sec 3s walked together! I remember Shiyun asking us to continue going out together as a batch after we graduate. We packed roti john, sambal stingray, satay, chicken wings, wonton noodles and other snacks before heading to one of the BBQ pits, where our attention was divided between two ginger coloured cats, writing on the sand, and the food.


This cat was being sociable and snatched someone's chicken wing. The hands belong to Ismail and Angeline.


This suspicious kitty decided to keep a distance from us.


Of course, we had to draw in the sand. Everyone has to draw in the sand when we go to the beach! Samantha, Nai Ma, is busy taking the initiative.


The moon was really bright.

We all went home and I took a lift from Miss Siva and her parents. I discovered who her mother was! It was such a surprise, really. I then collapsed on my bed after realizing that I had been debating 7 times in 2 days.

Saturday nights in neon lights

Song is Take Me To The Riot by Stars.

Gah. SYF photos. Choir Tees. We're students, not accountants.

Ugly

Just came back from the SSO concert.

While Paganini’s Violin Concerto No. 1 was overly technical, I felt that Rachmoninov’s Symphony No. 2 was much more rich in dynamics and emotions, which added a fluidity to it that I found was lacking in the violin concerto. However, Jin Li, the solo violinist for the violin concerto, had an amazing technique that came close to that of Paganini himself (who reportedly sold his soul to the devil in return for his talent), and dazzled most of us with double and triple stops, but perhaps to the point of saturating the audience with an overload of musical embellishments.

Rachmoninov’s Symphony No. 2 was a refreshing change from the mostly stiff and restrained concerto. Throughout all of its movements, the use of intense dynamics employed by the SSO highlighted the lush harmonies (I thought I detected atonal ones in the first movement) and poignant melody lines. The most breathtaking moment, I felt, was at the start when we were, as it were, caught by our collars and swung through the air by a gush of rich and dense harmonics that swelled, ebbed, and flowed like tossing waves. It was a pity that the people sitting next to me seemed more engrossed in their cell phones and the striking resemblance that one of the violinists had to one of the teachers.

Went to have a chicken and ham stroganoff at dhoby ghaut, but not before someone was approached by a man with hair that looked as if they had been parted into three portions and welded together by a glue gun. Needless to say, Glue Gun Guy, in a faux Western accent, managed to squeeze in his contact information and boss' business card, and left someone at a loss for words and trying to comprehend an overwhelming sense of deja vu. Go figure. I've never felt so invisible in all my life.

Ah well. We all have our Daria Morgendorffer moments. I've found this Whoopi Goldberg video that parodied the surf culture in the 80s and 90s.

Post-exam bliss

Argh, I feel too angsty these days. I don't know why, really. Probably some internal thing.

Safra at Mount Faber has rain-showers at its swimming pool changing room/washroom! I am, however, severely put off by the cloudy waters with a visibility of about 8 metres, and the entrance gates that have never worked for us since our last visit a few weeks ago.

Anyway I've just checked my hotmail account—which is a very rare event—and discovered Andrea's email about motion researching and I'm like, Oh Gawd I Wish I'd Checked Earlier, but I'm suddenly overcome with a feeling of happiness and contentment knowing that there's finally debate training and I'm working with my favourite-est (to the point where grammatical and syntactic conventions are contravened) team in the world.

Then there's a free SSO concert tomorrow as well that was listed in last week's newspaper but is mysteriously missing in the esplanade calendar on its website. But I've managed to find it listed on the SSO website.

"Hear the SSO before the orchestra goes on tour in China this October! Featuring Yehudi Menuhin’s student and SSO violinist, Jin Li, the SSO will be playing Paganini’s Violin Concerto No. 1 in D major and Rachmoninov’s Symphony No. 2 in E minor. With such great music, the Rush Hour Concert promises to be a treat after a long day at school!"

Paganini and Rachmoninov. Sounds fun. I remember the morning when the entire school was engulfed in a sudden darkness that crawled through the parade square when a massive cumulonimbus hovered over Hougang. And to enhance the drama, those freaky warring-type melodramatic orchestral and choral pieces happened to be playing over the PA system as part of the music programme. Very War Of The Worlds.

Day Zero of EOYs

Yes, I hear your cries.

You are the boy who has the bad haircut, emergant acne and 5 year-old-bag. After getting a haircut, do not kick a fuss at the woman has never cut your hair properly because she hates the texture of your hair, do not glare at the toddler wearing the pink overalls giggling loudly, and most importantly, do not forget to remove all valuables from the bag compartment behind the mirror. Hold your head up high and ignore the people staring. Sway your arms nonchalently because you do not care.

Walk the longer way back because you have your sister's music with you. Feel sorry for yourself because someone stole your iPod 2 years ago. You have waited too long to buy a new one — you are now the less cooler older brother, wearing last season's spectacles, in the triple science stream, Student Leader, chronic palm-sweater, and ohmygawd, in the same school. The bag you carry on your shoulders is old and grey, so walk with a slower gait because having a slight spring in your step would make the rusty zippers jingle as if you were a walking Salvation Army christmastime goodwill bin on tour.

Return home but do not expect to hear anything. Your grandparents will be watching the television. Do not expect them to say anything; Spy Kids 2 is showing. As you close the door, you hear the familiar clasp of the padlock.
— "I like your hair" says your Grandmother.
Do not reply because you know it is a lie. Latch the the door softly.
— "I like your hair" she says again. Be grateful. She could have laughed.

Enter the study room with a smile on your face. Anticipate the pregnant silence lingering like choking cigarette smoke before someone sniggers.
— "I think you should wash your hair" says your father. The comment is oozing with sympathy.

Do not storm out of the room. Grab a towel and take a shower. Use your favourite shampoo. Rinse. Dry. Look at the reflection in the mirror. He looks at you as if you are to blame for this stupid haircut, this confusion of buzz-cuts and layers. Remind yourself that there is no time for melodrama, because the evil blue social studies textbook beckons. It is on the blue table, in the room with the blue walls that have since faded to become grotesque shades of lilac and white.

Look at the mirror again. Be convinced that the person staring widely back, sclera and all, should be the one partaking in the shame. Sweep your hair back. Brush it back down. Your hair will never in perfect symbiosis with your, nor will in syncronize itself according to your moods. Try as you wish, apply sticky sweet slimy lychee scented hair wax, mould it, squish it, swear— you have come to the conclusion that you have the worst hair in the world and perhaps the woman at the hairdresser's would be unanimous in your thinking and sink into the swelling depths of self-pity as kelp and dead plankton bury you into the murky beds of peat and moss.



(Haha, just wanted to have some fun before English Paper 1 tomorrow. It the bastard child of Julie Orringer's 'Note to Sixth-Grade Self' and Haruki Murakamiesque moods. The ratatouille was definitely better today—after my grandmother microwaved it -.- My dad was like, 'there's something missing' and accused the brinjal of having a texture that was less meaty than expected.)

Gourmet Punk

So while I was walking home from church, having spent an entire afternoon revising freakin SS, my dad was like 'oh my friend passed me this ratatouille recipe and we actually have the ingredients already hinthint' in between sips of jia jia liang teh, and my mum looked at me and, well, you know.




Okay, my presentation is nowhere as nice as Rémy's. I don't really like ratatouille, but I hope the flavour of the tomatoes will start to come out after a night in the refrigerator.

I'm now off to sell my soul to physics! :(

Even though she's like in Korea now and dancing her heart out, I just want to wish Elizabeth a very very happy fabulous meaningful memorable satisfying awesome fun exciting 17th birthday!!

I don't usually do dedications in my blog, but I'll do one anyway! Why?

Because she's more than a friend/senior to me. And that's why I have her listed in my phone as Grandma (even though technically the number's probably invalid): ever since knowing her in Sec 2, I've grown so much. Especially when we had that argument about the hypersensitivity/insensitivity thing, and how she handles things in a godly and non-subjective way. And how she and Ruimin looked at my scrapbook and went 'Wow' and perhaps that was one of the first times people ever saw it, other than my sister, and commented about how I should be taking art in Sec 3, etc.

And she dragged me along to meet Esther from yfc for the first time after homecoming day 2006, where I started to become more aware of my faith and about being a Christian. How I was encouraged despite being the jerk sec 2 kid that I was. And of course, watching them mug in the mornings, and reading A math textbooks wondering aloud how fun it would be and she'll be like, are you mad? and I'll be all No I'm not and she'll give that look of bewilderment and half-amusement.

And I remember crying in the train because I was sick and confused and stuck in Tampines knowing nothing about what to do next, and she helped me to get to the bus stop to take a bus home. And one year ago, I was baking peanut butter cookies that went rather strange and gooey but she still appreciated them anyway.

So she's been a grandma to me in many ways. And to, oh my goodness, prevent it from sounding like a eulogy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIZABETH! I hope and pray that God will continue to direct your paths, be it dancing or studying mass com. 17 is like, such an exciting age. (Cos you can read Seventeen magazine and not appear pretentious. Ha-ha, I know that's really corny. -.- )

So I had a few slip-ups yesterday.

"Let's now give a round of applause for our um-disting-um-guests to the um front of the stage to light up the Xinmin um word... um formation... darn."

But my sister reassured me that no one was really listening anyway.

But who listens? After the funeral, we tried looking for a place at the Bishan library to study but to our dismay, and contempt, Café Galilee, staying true to the busy-entrepot-trade imagery of its name, was brimming with students who think that studying while sipping a frappe in one hand is oh-so-chic. So, begrudgingly, I paid for my library fines with my cashcard but the evil machine "placed for my convenience" spat my card out and accused me of not using a valid cashcard. Having rarely been insulted by machines, I glared at it while it processed my fines after it finally accepted my ez-link card bearing my drug-pusher mugshot.

We turned back to eat at yoshinoya and ordered our food, though not before making sure it wasn't playing whiney emo punk. And then, while we were talking about the merits of yoshinoya's wasabi mayo, Fall Out Boy started playing on the radio. The boy wearing pmk sitting next to us decided it was an opportune time to play us a song by Simple Plan on his phone as well. We cast murderous glances back, and I went back to doing the Physics Workout book, until the angst-filled strains of Patrick Stump and Pierre Bouvier's voices formed a duet in my head that threatened to squeeze out any last drop of sanity left in me.

So now, as the scorching sun continues to shine down as if mocking us, my sister's doing a sketch of a girl burning her barbie dolls and smirking for art exam, and I'm waiting for my parents to return home with chicken pie from sunshine plaza, and I've just realized it's Saturday.

Haha! I'm at Xinyu's house now blogging while waiting for 5.30 to come so that we can return to school to go start the rehearsal for the Mid-Autumn festival celebrations (and I'm trying to to type this with a missing "L" key on the keyboard)

And she has these three really cute dogs, and one of them regularly goes to my feet to sniff at intervals of about 10 minutes. -.-

So anyway, there's this very re lie atmosphere in the hall which is so cool.

And my goodness Jay Chou's like totally everywhere in my day today. How somewhat disturbing this all is.

1 2 3 4

Yay. I now owe the library $1.80, having just discovered a magazine that I borrowed and forgot about for at least a month. I didn't like that magazine.

Old meme

I have decided to resurrect a meme from a year ago, maybe 'cuz I like it that much? Heh.
The ones worth listening to are in bold! They come with preeeetty little Youtube videos.

Open your Music, and hit Shuffle, and write the artist and the title of the song, next to each question.

Soundtrack of your life

Opening Credits: Know-How - Kings Of Convenience
Waking Up Scene: Saint Simon - The Shins
Car Driving Scene: Wood Cabin - Saint Etienne
High School Flashback Scene: The Birdman of EC1 - Saint Etienne
Nostalgic Scene: Coming Toward - David Crowder Band
Bitter, Angry Scene: America - Simon and Garfunkel



Break-up Scene: Wake Up - Hilary Duff (like, seriously?)
Agony scene: Shut up - Simple Plan
Regret Scene: Sometimes - Britney Spears
Nightclub/Bar Scene: Voice - Composed by Toru Takemitsu, performed by Auréle Nicolet
Fight/Action Scene: Kneel Before Your God - Lemon Jelly
Lawn Mowing Scene: Alpha Beta Gaga - Air
Sad, breakdown scene: Crooked Teeth - Deathcab For Cutie



Death Scene: Le Piege De Meduse - Composed by Erik Satie, performed by Aldo Ciccolini
Funeral Scene: Voulez Vous - Arling & Cameron
Mellow Scene: By Your Side - CocoRosie



Dreaming About Someone Scene: Can Can from 'Orpheus In the Underworld' (huh??)
Contemplation Scene: Born To Try - Delta Goodrem
Chase Scene: Dear Mr. And Mrs. Troublemaker - All Girl Summer Fun Band
Happy Love Scene: Wonder (If She'll Get It) - Superchick
Happy Friend Scene: Time To Say Goodbye - Sarah Brightman
Closing Credits: Percolator - Stereolab

Ok. I must admit that half the songs here are obscure enough to only be known by my sister.

I'm all new, baby.

I'm dizzy from studying Congruency and Similarity, but it's okay since my grandfather bought a 1/2 pound bar of Hershey's Symphony chocolate which is Oh So Creamy~ and I'm filled with endorphines right now. And probably even more Evil made up of hydrocarbons later, gah.

So anyway, in a desperate attempt to escape from my flexible curve in order to prevent myself from using it to form a noose and thus hanging myself out of sheer ennui, (and also to mention how cheesed-off I am about smart alecky stories in the English As It Is Broken section in the Lifestyle section of the Sunday papers), there's this song that my sister and I are hopelessly addicted to right now.

It's by The Brunettes and it's called Her Hairagami Set


I really like the puppets in the video. They are so eerily lifelike, in a creepy-good kinda way.


angel from heaven with her hairagami set
hair kisses 'n' hair architecture augment a beautiful brunette


I can't stand the English As It Is Broken section! The people in the photograph all remind me of pretentious young literature trainee teachers who speak with a faux accent and wear argyle with primary colours to look funky. Urgh.

And it seems as though there's an extra cause for concern over the lockers-books-and-how-are-you-going-to-study-if-you-leave-your-books-in-school-I'm-not-going-to-explain-to-your-parents-anymore issue this year. Just so that people may know, my school bag is already morbidly obese and I am now in constant danger of doing an accidental backflip down the stairs resulting in my tragic paralysis/death before the exams.

Takada

Toshiki, Esther, and I.

I miss running around school conversing in sign language, staying up late to mug with the rest of scholars who went for the program, and walking around Ikea in a desperate search for lovely gifts. I also miss playing with Yan's boyfriend/baby.


He's a camera -.-

I miss my Daim Cake

Bought and ate this when I went to Ikea with Lay Hout and Marcus three tiring weeks ago during the Japan exchange trip.


Gosh, how I loved it. It's crunchy, chocolatey and crackly on the outside, with a sort of praline middle layer and then a deliciously crumbly carrot-cake-esque texture in the centre. The sushi I had today for afternoon tea after starving during recess and lunch was more orgasmic though, but that's another story.

If you could tilt your head to the side, you can see Marcus in the distance.

Lay Hout was like, "Am I in heaven?"

Farewell

Mrs Ho has left for greener pastures, the ubiquitous tai-tai life of her role as Wife of Studying Husband, and years of serenity amidst the evergreens, bunnies, idyllic brick cottages and whatnot. Of course, there was the farewell dinner that turned Japanese after a few minutes of planning.







Um.

1. (the person who tagged you is) - Andrea

2. (your relationship with him/her is) – Previous classmate cum Debate teammate cum stalker-trauma support group member cum doner of DNA for hybridization

3. (5 impressions you have of him/her) – Somewhat naive, yet somewhat twisted; happy; growing up; witty in his own ways; and the best person in school to angst/laugh/bitch about societal expectations of hair and the near total suppression of free speech in school.

4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you) – By passing me POIs during the LISHA-SBL debate! Ok I'm sure there's more. (OMG i can't believe you did a 3 and a half page gong han?! Mine was only 2 and a half pages!)

5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you) – If you don't want to buy it, you shouldn't buy it for the sake of buying it. (or something along those lines) But I went to buy it a week later with my sister anyway, and is regretting forgetting that topman t-shirts sometimes have very ugh-stupid cuts.

6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will) – Start soul-searching.

7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) - Quit caring about outer appearances because we'll all end up looking like the amazingly-emaciated Olsen twins anyway.

8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will) – Laugh at his underestimation of my wrath.

9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be) – Nitpicked-to-death

10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is) – Go for Elizabeth's concert together then go to tcc and bitch about certain anal-retentive ushers.

11. (your overall impression of him/her is) - Person with the most unique personality. Ever.

This is the sound of settling.

Okay Caroline tagged me—

1. (the person who tagged you is) - Caroline

2. (your relationship with him/her is) - Sub-mentor/choir senior/sister's friend

3. (5 impressions you have of him/her) - God-fearing, mature, poetic, zany occasionally, open-minded

4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you) - By being co-operative during orientation! Phew. Didn't have to deal with a bunch of rascals ;)

5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you) - Hmm, actually I'm rarely talked to by her, other then the two tags at the tagboard.

6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will) - Kinda freak out

7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) - Um, by growing older? I don't know really

8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will) - be extremely annoyed about my current accidental string of pissing-off other people.

9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be) - Because we're both fighting for esther's company? That was random, don't start feeling too uber-popular, esther! Haha.

10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is) - By completing this thing

11. (your overall impression of him/her is) - Wise beyond her years

12. (how you think people around you will feel about you) - That I'm stoic and my voice lulls people to sleep in lit class T_T

13. (the characteristic you love about yourself is) - I don't get angry for nothing.

14. (on the contrary, the characteristic you hate about yourself is) - Being self-conscious by constant remindal of a complacent mind.

15. (the most ideal person you want to be is) - I don't want to be anyone else. But if I could, I wouldn't mind being a rich aristocrat living somewhere in the Welsh countryside, or some Greek philosopher and his philosophical enquiries into the subject of metaphysics and ontology.

16. (for people that care and like you, say something to them) - I love you!

17. (pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you) -
1) Andrea
2) Any of the Elizabeths
3) Angeline
4) Christabel
5) Zizhao
6) Limin
7) Xinyu
8) Zhaozhi
9) Sherina
10) Caroline

(who is no.6 having relationship with?) - Hmm. I really don't know! XD
(Is no.9 a male or female?) - Female
(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?) - That's a strange combination that mightinduce moral panic along the corridoors of Xinmin
(What is no.2 studying about?) - Mass communications! The other one is studying the same as me except for pure humanities
(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?) - Like, yesterday. But it was more of a Hi have you seen ___? oh? You haven't? Bye!
(What kind of music band does no.8 like?) - Jay Chou obviously -.-
(Does no.1 has any siblings?) - He has a sister
(Will you woo no.3?) - Weird. I'd rather stay platonic.
(How about no.7?) - She has her ____ already! (haha)
(Is no.4 single?) - nope
(What's the surname of no.5?) - Gong!
(What's the name of no.10?) - Caroline
(What's the hobby of no.4?) - Coming up with rhymes about her lymph nodes
(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?)- Yes... I think. Two years ago.
(Where is no.2 studying at?) - Xinmin Secondary/NP
(Say something casual about no.1) - I haven't done my !@#$ gong han yet!
(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?) - Uh, no. She can develop feelings herself, like film rolls. Haha!
(Where does no.9 live?) - Hougang
(What color does no.4 like?) - While doing titration, I know it's definitely not pink.
(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?) - 1 doesn't know who's 5 but 5 knows who's 1
(Does no.7 likes no.2?) - I think they know each other? Or might have seen each other before.
(How did you get to know no.2?) - Debate/SLB/choir/hanging out in the canteen, feeling carefree and longing to take A Maths at the tenderest age of 14.
(Does no.1 have any pets?) - Do class pets count? He really seems to like ma le for some reason.
(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?) - Haha, I wouldn't lie would I :P But pink dior spects are so cool XD

My Japanese buddy has finally responded to my email! I am so thrilled. He speaks English and likes avant-garde and experimental art, and alternative music! Time to start listening to John Cage and the Fluxus movement and whatnot.

:D

Wrinkles

This is Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. "Who's Gnarls Barkley?" you may ask. Well, I haven't really heard of him but he sounds real afro-big-hair-70s-punk (only that he's bald, but y'know, whatever). Man I love this song.


It's some fanvid about Veronica Mars and Lilly, her best friend (who had an affair with some older man who killed her by the pool but it was all recorded on video etc. etc. so sad right?) Song is Lilly Dreams On by Cotton Mather.

Okay. Ten random facts about me. In haiku form. I am so sorry.

I.
grey skies and grey clouds
i enjoy looking at these
shades of black and white.

II.
OCD enchants
perennial occupation
with aichmophobia.

III.
Baby-hating, I
refuse to see younger kids
and their !@#$%-ing screams.

IV.
Enjoys book shopping
although book shopping is not
that unorthodox.

V.
Colour blindness is
something that I don't quite mind:
camou-specialist.

VI.
Once in a strange dream
I saw a flying llama
and cancer patients.

VII.
Dislikes shaking hands
due to random occasions
of palms perspiring.

IX.
Ben and Jerry's has like
totally the best ice-creams
ever, omg.

X.
I am morbidly
afraid of losing loved ones
in desolations.

--

I have killed a meme,
I know; by opening up
inclusivity.


oooh, how poetic and original!

Made of marble

Your Anti Climactic Fortune

Deep into your future, I forsee: An itch you can't scratch

The Anti Climactic Fortune Teller

Oh well, sigh.

In Memory of Alois Alzheimer is about as interesting as One Flesh, if not, considerably much more impactful. I love the last stanza.

I'm gonna sleep early today!

And my father is complaining about the teachers who have started to call in sick already. (Before I had to fix the "My Gmail's all in Hebrew!" problem.) I asked Esther where the postcard box was, and she said Isn't it that G&H thing? and I said No I think we've changed it now, so she got up and found the old biscotti box that we transferred the postcards to and I said Oh I remember now! And we were happy. But such contentment is usually transient because my throat started to tickle and my dad said It's 10.15 already but I thought No not really, it's only 10.09, so I left it at that and thus forfeited an opportunity to strike up a small conversation about needing to change the batteries for the clock, which I presume would lead to a discussion on how changing Samuel's watch (that he had been wearing since 2005, by the way) would be quite a good idea.

Am I so bored? Do I have to resort to mentioning such insignificant bits of information henceforth? I'm just tired of learning things that I don't feel much for. Doesn't this defeat the whole purpose of education? Why would I be so concerned with the freaking trigo identities when I'm (i) not planning to be an engineer nope absolutely not it's out of the question and (ii) more interested in the liberal arts and (iii) angry at having to conform to our strictly achievement-centric society and my unfortunate birthplace in a nation so hung on its meritocratic idealogy. Woe. Disdain. I have to talk about my recent attempt at lucid dreaming last night. I was singing Akita Ondo for choir practice that seemed to have caused my conductor to cry tears of joy, and I went home to discover that my grandmother had hidden an entire house away from us at the back of the block of flats, and then I was invited by the President of Indonesia to Jakarta, and the private jet did a figure-of-eight in the air and landed in the middle of the highway. Then I found myself in a bead museum, wondering when I would get home, when a teacher appeared next to me and told me that the plane was leaving at 2.30 am. Weird, huh. I told my sister about my dream and she said Why are you always dreaming about such odd things, I hardly get any dreams now.

Can't give you anything

Okay, even though the Gatsby rubber commercial is like, so 2 months ago, I stumbled upon the original version on Youtube! Beware, for the outdated disco moves are cheesy and their outfits are getting crusty. Interestingly, the video was shot in 1975 but the Japanese guys still have somewhat cool hair. Which alarms me of the prospect of having to host a Japanese student living in conditions probably a century ahead of everyone's time. And the just-for-fun article on the The Onion didn't help make anything better. At all.

Earthquake Sets Japan Back To 2147

And everyone thinks hosting is just as simple as cleaning up your room. Yeah right; how on earth am I supposed to get rid of Esther's precious clutter and chick-lit? And don't even start talking about the beanie babies that we couldn't bear to give away. I supposed it's the kawaii factor that counts?

Night is beautiful

I'm back home from the N2D run! Everyone's probably in the hall now sleeping/watching movies/sleeping.
But anyway, I ran 5 km, and was somewhat pleased with myself. Until I returned home. And thought of rewarding myself with some food. And I accidently opened the freezer and found the tub of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia that had been forgotten by everyone. Then I saw the box of chocolates we bought in the Hong Kong duty-free and I ate a spherical gold-foil one with a ball of marzipan and praline inside. But it was for a good cause! It was my motivation for reading the newspapers! (which only further depressed me when I read about what children under the Taliban regime was subjected to. So I reached for several packets of seaweed to chew my anger on.) Yawn. Sleepy.

What heart?

Let's just say that I have never wanted to contract a terminal, life-threatening disease so badly before in my life. Nor have I been ever craving becoming involved in a tragic hit and run accident. I don't see the point in getting out of bed now.

Say no to being cool say yes to being happy

Performances that need watching:
1) Dances of The Orient 2007 — Elizabeth's performing
2) 20 years, In Song — Mr Yong's performing
3) The Campaign To Confer The Public Service Star On JBJ — Church elder's daughter wrote it
4) Baybeats 07!

Darn, I wanted to watch Ibsen's A Doll's House during the theatre festival but I can never seem to be able to book tickets on time (nor being able to find unreluctant accomplices). Gah. Such is my plight. I wish someone would be able to understand my cultural famine.

I feel obliged to comment on Racial Harmony Day celebrations. I never enjoyed Racial Harmony Day. If they had to make such a fuss over racial cohesion and emphasize it with such zeal and passion, the organic, psychosomatic inculcation of ethnic awareness via experience and sincerity (instead of forcing it down our throats) would be undermined by the rush to stabilize the community for the sake of progress. I find it tragic.

Not wanting to end my night on such a negative note, there's something that has been somewhat interesting now. I'm co-blogging with my sister on Wordpress! I haven't posted anything yet so I'm not linking anything just yet. Basically it's just the amalgamation of our interests, our love for slightly disturbing alt-rock and post-punk lyrics and other random oddities that we sometimes laugh about. It's like eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream, really— chunky, not too cloyingly sweet, and reeking only slightly of pretention.

-.-

Your Anti Climactic Fortune

Deep into your future, I forsee: Conditional love

The Anti Climactic Fortune Teller

How to fold your 301 class tee into a banana!

For the benefit of the clueless, here is a step by step guide on how to fold your class t-shirt into a funky yellow banana!


Step 1: Start from the BACK of your class tee.


Step 2: Fold the bottom of the tee up to to where the collar is.


Step 3: Fold that loose flap behind.


Step 4: Fold in the non-black sleeve into the pocket created by the fold.


Step 5: Mold and shape the sides to form the organic curves found in a banana. Crimp, scrunch and shape the black sleeve into a stem.

(optional) Step 6: Step back, admire, and suddenly burst forth into joyous song, exclaiming "WOOHOO! BANAN-Y!"

Melt me down to big black armour.

This post is dedicated to Andrea who gets cranky if I don't put up the pictures on time:

Xinfony VII (wow, SEVEN already? We haven't even had Melizo 4. Sob.) was quite good. I think it was better than the previous Xinfony, and the alumni band and the guest percussion ensemble managed to wow me the most. My sister was one of the emcees, and her voice was so low because she was having a sore throat, which was scary because it made her sound like me. The resemblance was uncanny.

But I shall dwell on the selfish and superficial! The air-conditioning at the stall seats were apparently not working, and several people who decided to revive the layered look from last fall/autumn suffered the most. It was so bad, someone reportedly lost 5 kg sweatin' it out. (Ok, I'm only kidding. But it was that bad.) Beneath the layers of synthetic fibres that became scratchy in contact with perspiration that clumped skin and wiry shirts together, the mother of all discomfort, I could see the suffering in their bloodshot eyes as they tried catching up with their sleep (or rather, their sleep caught up with them) during the more avant-garde and experimental percussion ensemble. Then again, Xinminians tend to have a knack for inappropriate dressing. Some looked like hookers, and I'm still trying to erase the awful mental image than had been superimposed by the trauma.

But Xinfony was good, really. To be frank, they were close to receiving standing ovations, but there's still something missing. Most aesthetic groups find the learning process of a piece extremely tiring, but injecting some emotion and feeling into the piece via dynamics makes everything more exciting, everytime. That's why I really liked the percussion ensemble. They made clever use of the atonality of the song and their pianissimos were really soft and their fortississimos were quite adaquete. But gah still no one can appreciate unconventional music.

Passive-aggressive is such a dirty word

They say that people who look alike will tend to gravitate towards each other (a la the Becks-Posh complex).
Someone said that in Sec 3, your friends will start trying to appear more mature to the point where you don't really know them anymore.
I can't even tell who's genuine anymore.

Puh-lease. You don't think I'm going to burst into an emo tyrade of supposed injustice towards mankind, do you? ;)

Anyway, I have been thinking about the relevance of TKAM in our lives, and I see the recurring theme of Growing Up in everyone. I've never thought how 'stepping into other people's shoes' would make things so poignant and somewhat reassuring to me, and how odd that I've seemed to grow closer towards Scout and Jem throughout the course of my studying of the novel.

So, it pains me to see how judgmental and unforgiving some people can be. Can't I be a beacon of light that exclaims in the midst of their mad, passion-driven diatribes to stop and see things from their point of view?

Novocaine for the soul

I have just finished my literature portfolio.

I am so happy.

I am so overwhelmed.

I think I'm going to bawl. :'(

under the bearded barley

1) I want a domokun plushie!
2) Tonight will be the night when all literature students would be worrying about their literature portfolio. (Except Christine because "she had finished it in three days".)
3) I'm starting to associate Leonard with his very worn-out rubik's cube.
4) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is really interesting to study...
5) I want to watch Goodbye Lenin.
6) I have not watched The Girl Who Leapt Through Time yet.
7) I want to go to Island Creamery!!!
8) Emo songs are interesting.
9) It has been raining for the past few days and I'm totally digging the awesome weather!
10) Xinfony is tomorrow and my sister has resorted to using post-it notes pasted around the house to remind her to pack in this and that.
11) I still can't appreciate Adam Lay Ybounden because it feels so... ugly.

Surfing On A Rocket

Isn't anyone free on Saturday?? Carpenter's Tools International is performing in Singapore but everyone's like, oh sorry I can't make it. Either that or they completely ignored my message.

Lord help me to have patience.

Choir today was sub-par: few were cooperating and a score went missing. Then I tried to fake my anger and exasperation, then I realized that I became really angry for a while, then I thought that being angry only impedes the choir's ability to express themselves freely. Ok, but that's not the point. There's this 'lost' generation that isn't as rooted to choir as us, and I'm desperate for them to put their hearts back into singing.

I love studying about the circulatory system! And the cardiac cycle and lymphatic system and systole, diastole, a and b antibodies, antigens on red blood cells and blood type imcompatibility!! It's so cool to finally figure out where the aorta and pulmonary veins were! Mr Rodrigues has this software with videos are that were slightly veering towards the side of cartoon violence, when they showed someone chopping something and accidently nipping his flesh from his fingertips. But anyway, bio lessons are so fun right now.

And Mingting told this really funny joke about the boy who liked imitating an electric fan. Seriously, it was so peng fu da xiao!

Love Your Abuser

Was Youtube-surfing after Shiyun told me about the video of their syf dance choreography.


I still prefer watching it live on stage though, since the sound of shuffling feet across wooden panelling during the silent parts lends a very organic feel to dance. My favourite part is the tableau! It can make people cry y'know.


Adam Lay Ybounden. We're doing this song. This is the Anderson Choir. (I'm having a Jennifer Tham moment.) Anyway, we have to complete this song by Wednesday now, and then revise This Marriage and Jaakobin Pojat.


Binama is a song about tidal waves, and it's really fun to do, I guess! So far, this is the best rendition I've heard (on Youtube, at least), because the choir had managed to push the dynamics to the maximum. The images of the 2004 Tsunami that recur are frightening.


And this is the trailer for The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, the movie that I so badly want to watch!!

I Run Faster Than You Can

Don't ask me what I'm doing up at 2 am. Actually—yes; ask me, and expect to become a punching bag of my grieviences and angst.

I've realized that it's not safe to force some kid's maturity into levelling up, since all he now has is a rather artificial and synthetic form of understanding that is clouded by a fog of naivety that seems to prevent the rooting of his true maturity which is, I believe, more than just saying stock phrases in some attempt to appear superior. It takes time to experience and understand things first-hand, than to listen to anecdotes and take them as The Truth And Nothing But The Truth.

My place in several camp committees has rendered my more controlled sleeping schedules of yore irrelevant.
My tea's gone cold.
UNSW's international subject competitions are getting less challenging to the point of frustration due to immense boredom. I no longer feel that I have achieved much even with a high distinction.
There is a strange sound coming from my window.
I want to sing Binama, Kasar, Daemon, Shima e, Ave Maria by Javier Busto, Sleep and This Marriage by Eric Whitacre, Aglepta and Shinjiru!! I think the only part of Adam Lay Ybounden that the audience prefers listening to is the ending (which is seriously quite nice) but the melodic line is quite difficult to appreciate, I guess.
I want to go to Island Creamery! Though the wait is long, the anticipation brings out the flavour of things, somehow.
I'm reading My Latest Grievience (which is written in a clever, witty way through the eyes of an intellectual who has lived her entire childhood out in a college), and Moon Tiger (written in an original way that borders slightly on experimental but still manages to engage instead of distancing the reader, which I find is so prevailant in modernist literature, that I decided to read The Waves in fits to prevent its poetic style of prose from influencing the oh-so-standard English essays that seem to prefer the conformist manner of writing that cramps whatever speck of creativity, which has to be then carefully weaved in with the rest of the words.)
Response to H.E.L.P. has been disappointing, to say the least. There are teachers who hastily tick the 'fail' box and then comment 'Enough said!', as if we have psychic abilities to understand reasons and then miraculously handle critique. If we need to make the survey form more specific, i.e. needing to remind them that we would appreciate constructive comments in the comments column, then I don't see any degree of professionalism at all, and all I see is pompousness and conceit. But to be fair, most survey forms had constructive comments, be it failing or passing the proposal, which has certainly helped alot. We'll see next year, I guess.