the atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how

Am currently very uninspired and channelling Studious Study Freak using my body as a vessel, so if you look closely you may discover that I no longer have irises. (kidding)

Anyway, I've learnt to settle for mediocrity and accept the average, but perhaps The P won't allow it to happen. This may be due to the fact that in her eyes, I am only a statistic (that will be totally rockin' awesome for school KPIs and brighter career prospects). But it's good to move on, in a sense, because I can now occupy my time practising maths during chinese lessons, now as if of yore.

Over yakult and the olympics, my sister asked me whether I felt guilty about getting a B3 for chinese. I said no. (And was extremely offended, if I might add. Not by my sister but by you-know-what.) Evidently, P has impressed on the entire school that we are terrible, terrible individuals and deserve to be hung, drawn and quartered, or at least have our decapitated heads stuck on poles outside the G.O. to serve as a deterrence and timely reminder to the school that We Have To Study Now. Yes We Have To Study Now. Now.

There is a stabbing pain at the back of my head But I Have To Study Now.

Hey I got an A1 for comb. humans. (43+41 — I felt light-headed and floaty.) Now I Have To Study Harder. For English, I scored 27 for my descriptive essay (which was accompanied by a "28" that was scribbled-out as if to jibe at lost potential) that caused me to be berated earlier for being an evil child and refusing to conform by doing expository writing, So I'll Have To Study That More. (And that "virtuoso!" comment was a little... uh... And yes I cannot believe it came with an exclamation mark.) I do not know how to feel about paper 2.

A and E Maths was The Suckage. I am not even going to include them in my L1R5 for prelims. I failed E maths paper 1 by a mark and my A2 plummeted to C5. I failed E Maths Paper 1. This is unreal. (There is also no banding for my class. Will I be a victim of generalised brilliance taken for-granted?)

I got an A2 for chemistry which was like, my first distinction for a pure science subject, ever. I was so overwhelmed but I'll Need To Study Even Harder For This. I'll Spend My Entire Weekends On The Sciences Now Yes I'll Spend My Entire Weekends On The Sciences Now.

So hopefully I can secure a 1 for literature, then I can finally attain the lowest L1R5 score of my upper secondary career And Then See How I Can Improve Further And Then Study.

And Yes I Cannot Rely On Individual Brilliance So I've Got To Study Now.