Friday, August 15, 2008

once more, with handclaps

I am not even using maths as part of my L1R5! I received my A maths papers today and my worst fears were confirmed because I was the only failure in 401, while others, in consolation, told me they didn't do very well either (mainly C5s and B4s). My chinese is better than E maths. By 2 grades. (By some freak accident, I did horribly for both Paper 1s.)

I won't be included in banding, just extra lessons with my maths teacher, where I will be distracted by his syntax errors to the point of my own eventual and inevitable frustration. I think I do better at subjects with teachers who speak well and are at least coherent, e.g. history and biology and literature. I also do better if my teacher is more dominant and resembles a nasty slave-driver, because I need a push factor to complement that pull factor which is as weak as a feeble Van der Waals force.

It's more of my own problem, I guess. But English is my L1, ergo, most important subject ever. Maths and science can go take a hike. It is such a waste that I cannot score in the two subjects that everyone gets their A1s in. Teachers tell us that it's easy to get A1 for the aforementioned subjects because everyone else screws them up anyway and the bell curve will shift in favour of us all, but sadly, perhaps I will be the one who is going to screw it all up and upset the bell curve, and then watch as people, in their euphoria, start thanking the heavens etc. when they do get an A1.

I will have to rely on the remote traces of "personal brilliance" that I have left.

Anyway, if all goes well and if I squeeze my eyes real tight and hope for miracles to happen (A1 for Lit and Bio), and if I cheat a little and include chinese, I will get a 9. But I'm doubtful of getting A1 for Bio, of all things. And I'm dangerously borderline A1 for Lit currently.

And my situational writing lately has been truly utterly sucky. Hello! I want my writing exercises back please.

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